Tuesday,  June 19, 2012

We're on our way back home.  I'm seated between two people, a woman and a man, and Andy is on the opposite side of the plane, middle seat also. The man on my right is reading my book. The woman is reading her kindle. The woman is drinking wine. The man is drinking water. From what he told me so far, which was as close to a life history as one dares reveal on an airplane, I think, he drank enough in years previous and prefers water now. Maybe coffee.

Our time in Niagara Falls was great. The falls are amazing. Dwarfs compared to God's mighty power, but a tangible (the man stopped reading and told me he liked my book, then started reading again.) example of power, out of our hands and given to us by the Almighty.

I am thinking about the huge blessing this week has been. I can't even start to name off the "coincidences" that have happened. The timing. The people put in my path. The providential meetings with people that put me exactly where I needed to be. I am full of wonder and hope.

We watched the tight rope walker walk over Niagara Falls on TV the night before we were in the area. I was moved by his constant dialogue with the Lord. He kept on saying, "Thank you Lord, praise you Lord" and I have done much the same this past week. I have been taken on a journey I will forever cherish and appreciate.

So I'm ready to publish my book. I didn't get any book deals or leads at this festival, it wasn't that kind of experience. But I did see regular people, college professors mostly, who have done the hard work of getting published and sticking to the craft and calling the rough draft, their third draft. (the guy reading my book is nodding and clicking his tongue. "She just saw her dad, sitting by the store on the way to Virgil's," he said. I think I have him hooked.)

This man has been telling me his story. Born in the Midwest, the illegitimate son of a 15 year old mother. His mom died when he was seven, his dad didn't know he was his, his step dad raised him with another woman until the step dad left and the woman…he ended up in an orphanage, broke out on Thanksgiving break, and is sitting next to me I don't even know how many feet up in the air. Turns out he knows the two men that were in my Dental Hygiene class, through music. He plays in a band with one of them. Holy nelly!

People's lives. So diverse, complicated, tragic, purposeful-even when they feel purposeless. I'm ready to come home, to keep writing and finish this book, start another, and be with all the people that make life worth living. Andy and I have had a marvelous time, but home is home and the grass needs mowing and I want to hug all my kids and grand kids because I can't hug my mom and grandma. I have been on a walk around my history and am so grateful. Thank you Lord.

June 17, 2012

First of all, Happy Father's day to all the great fathers who raised us and are raising ours. God bless you and your families.

We just left Chautauqua. Wow. I really had no idea what the Chautauqua institute was all about, but it is much bigger than my little writers' festival, even much bigger than the community here, and used to be bigger still. It started out as a place that Sunday school teachers could go to learn new curriculum. Then they saw the need for teaching the basics of reading and writing and the arts in general. Painting, sculpture, dance, music and opera, theater, eventually photography, and creative writing. Now families have homes there that were passed down from their grandparents or parents and they spend the summers there. Some houses are year round residences.

In the late 1800's houses were built around the central school areas, some huge stately homes and some little cottages. The bigger houses mostly surround Lake Chautauqua, and smaller ¾ size Victorian homes line the streets of the adjoining neighborhood. The whole complex is ½-3/4 miles long and about ¼ mi wide now. We walked around a lot of it, admiring houses and gardens. I chose a lake house for myself, and one for each of my sisters…

For Kathleen- Simple and elegant

For Paula- Just a bit of whimsy

For me- because I need rooms for all the grandchildren :) 

We stayed at the Athenaeum Hotel which has a history all its own. It is a beautiful place, built in 1881.

Many of the houses around the grounds are owned by various church denominations.  The houses are used for retreats and vacation homes for missionaries.

My workshops were great. Each student submitted a 6 page work for peer and teacher review and it was (I almost wrote very) helpful. The food was fabulous! The grounds were beautiful, and the weather cooperated with sunny days the whole time.

Yesterday we arrived in Niagara Falls.  Last night we went to Niagara on the Lake, a beautiful English-Tea town. We had dinner and walked around and enjoyed just being there and being together.

So today we're going to see the Falls. We are on the Canada side; they say that is the best view. We'll see…

Love to all!

Pami and Andy

Another full day in Jamestown, filled with such fun gifts from God, I've been smiling all day.
I wish I would have taken a picture of our breakfast, here at the Oaks B&B. The coffee was perfect, the french toast was delightful. Raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and a yogurt parfait. Try this...plain yogurt, topped with chopped nuts, covered with a drizzle of honey. Mmm. But that was only the beginning.

I wanted to see the house on Tower Street where my mom and her parents lived until she was six. We found it with no problem, I had the address and a description of where it was from my mom's baby book. According to these sources, they lived in the basement. When we got to the house I knocked on the door of the main floor and no one answered. I went around back and up the stairs to the upstairs apartment. A note on the door said, "OPEN THIS DOOR AND KNOCK ON THE INSIDE DOOR", so I did. A young woman, about 20-25 answered. She never looked me in the eyes. She was still chewing on whatever she had been eating, and it was clear she had probably never been to the dentist. I told her my business and she seemed happy for me and said her dad would probably know more, so between her and her mother--her mom said something to the dad like "It's not about that, she just wants to know about her mother who used to live here..."--the man finally came out. He was sixty five-ish. Maybe younger, but looked to have been through the wringer. He wore a "wife-beater" t-shirt and had no teeth. I notice teeth. I asked him about the place and he was very short, defensive and evasive. I asked if I could look in the basement and he said ok, but told his daughter to go with me. We went down, it was spooky and cold down there so I called for Andy to come down with me, he was still on the street, taking pictures. By that time the man called down with second thoughts about me going into the basement, said he needed to call the landlord and get permission, but couldn't do it now cuz the landlord worked nights and slept all day. So while he was huffing and puffing about why we couldn't go down there (he was talking from the upstairs landing) I snuck into the basement and had a look around anyway. Sorry but I'm only going to be here, at this moment in time on Tower Street with the basement door to my mother's house open for me, once. This was my moment. I carefully crept down the narrow, wooden stairs and took a quick peek. The ceiling was low, the walls were concrete block, and the windows were boarded up. It was way more primitive than I had imagined. My heart felt sad for my little girl mom. This is the house...

After that we walked to the hospital because I wanted to walk the path that my mother did after school every day, once she moved up to the main floor of this house with her first "foster family" and went to visit her own mother who moved to the nurses housing at the WCA hospital. The neighborhood is very run down. We saw several, more than five, condemned houses on our 1 mile walk to the hospital. But the next part is the best part of the day. An unexpected pearl that I will never forget. I have never been so surprised in my life.

We stopped at the WCA hospital to use the bathroom and let Andy see it, (the hospital, not the bathroom) as he hadn't been there with me the day before. I had walked right by the chapel in the main hall the day before, so I stopped to peek in. I took this picture...

I took notice that the bible was open to Psalm 100, then wondered what version of the bible they used, so I turned to look at the front cover and found this...

That's my grandmother. I am completely overwhelmed. Dizzy with the blessings that the Lord has given me on this trip. I wasn't really even going to go back to the hospital today, but I needed to use the bathroom.

Can I stop right now and Give God some glory? I'm full with praise and thanks! I feel like He has been holding my hand and leading me around all day.

Thank you Lord. I feel so loved. I feel like my mom and her mom are sitting at the feet of Jesus saying, "Show her this, then this, and can she see this too? I want her to see my house, my grave, my sidewalk, and show her the bible so she knows we're all thinking about her." I'm not really serious about that, I don't think, but I know my Father is taking me on an adventure of a lifetime!

After that we went to the Fenton History Museum and they looked up in the old phone books and found my mom and dad's first house when they were married. There are several apartments in this big house and they lived in one...

We went looking for my grandfather's cemetery and talked to the overseer of the records. He gave me the location of his grave site, but there wasn't a gravestone. His second wife Elsie had one, but his plot was unmarked. It makes his absence in our lives all the more real.

I did find the house he lived in when he died though. It was named in his obituary, which the cemetery man copied for me, and ironically, it was down the street from the house he last lived in with my mom and grandmother.  I could stand across the street from the Tower street house and see his house...

We walked and had a nice dinner at a restaurant down the street and walked home, looked over the bridge, tried not to trip on the old bumpity sidewalks, and I couldn't stop smiling, remembering the day.

Off to Chautauqua Lake tomorrow to start the writers' conference. I'm first on the docket to have my writing reviewed.

Thanks for caring enough to read through my tired meandering. I just had to write it down. Maybe I'll be a writer.

Because God loves me, I asked. 

4/18/12

About three years ago I wrote a chapter in my book, Seven Years Between, about the Athenaeum Hotel on Lake Chautauqua, in Western New York. Built in 1881, and enjoyed by families and students of God's word and the arts, it has grown to be a unique place of learning, rejuvenation, and rest. I wrote about it in 2009, not knowing anything about the educational and spiritual side of it at all. I just googled..."lakes near Jamestown New York" because I needed a place for the characters in the book to go on a holiday and I found this beautiful hotel on the lake and went with it.

Early in May I read about a writers' contest that the Chautauqua Institute was having. I looked at their website to see about entering their novel competition. I couldn't submit my work though, because I'm not yet published and that is a requirement for this particular contest. Looking at the web site I saw that they were having a writers' conference /festival.I  desired sooo much to go. That morning, during my morning prayer time, I got on my knees and asked God, like I was asking my dad, if I could go. I would sincerely understand if he said no, but I asked. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Money and time off from work (which is also just money) are the roadblocks. Andy and I talk about it. We decide we will both go if the Lord wills, relying on Him to provide.

I had enough, barely, for the plane tickets. Whew.

I call to ask if they will raise our Visa amount, they say no. I'm not even mad.

I need to pay for the conference and lodging. It is 860. I have 869 left on my Visa. PTL.

4/26/12- Andy leaves an envelope with 205.00 in it. Money he's been putting away. He loves me sooo much. I cry when I read the writing on the envelope. He is entirely supportive of this venture.

I get an offer on the priceline site-- while I'm looking for a rental car, to get a new credit card w/ 0% for a year. I apply and am accepted. (I consider it a student loan, as I am not a fan of credit cards.)

6/5/12- Looked up some family graves last night. I hadn't realized that my grandmother, who is the second most pivotal person in my book,  was born on June 12. We arrive in Jamestown June 12 J

6/9/12- Got the NW Natural bill. Some kind of rebate gave us a credit! No gas bill this month!!

So... 6/12/2012- tonight as I write this, I am in Jamestown New York, the hometown of my Grandmother, the birthplace of my mother, me, my sister and the resting place of so many of my relatives.

I worked a full day yesterday and then Andy and I took the red eye to New York. We probably slept a total of 2 hours each, the whole night. We got to Buffalo around 9:30 am, picked up our car and headed down the east side of Lake Erie to Jamestown. Well, we did stop for lunch at McDonald's and I am serious this time...it's not worth it! No matter how fast, how cheap, or how good my memory makes it remember...two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun... it really isn't worth it. It just sits in your gut for the next six hours reminding you that you shouldn't have. Have you ever lost weight from eating McDonald's? It is because it's the next best thing to a laxative. If you eat it on a regular basis it will make you fat-no doubt, but if you eat it three times a year it will put your system in shock and purge it, any way it can. The same digestive system that you bought the expensive vitamins for, the system that you juice organic carrots for, the intestinal system that you trust to keep things moving and absorbing and doing that wonderful thing called peristalsis. Well, don't think it won't get you back, cuz it will. Just DON'T do it. Wow, that was a tangent.
So. We got to our Bed and Breakfast in Jamestown and it is just as awesome as the pictures and the reviews make it out to be...notice the brick street, they're all over Jamestown.

even the bed is comfy...

I tried to take a nap when we first got to our room, but a still small voice kept whispering in my ear "You can sleep when you get home!" So I  left Andy in the cozy bed, got up and went to the WCA Hospital where I was born, my mother was born, my sister was born, and where my mother and her mother both did their nurses trainin. My grandmother was the nurses night supervisor there for many years, 1937-1963, I think.

I  had a miraculous day! I went to the hospital and found two women who were there for an alumni tea. (Thanks once again Lord!) One was the librarian for the hospital and both had my grandmother as a teacher and night supervisor. They showed me yearbooks, told me some fun stories about my grandmother, in a nut shell, she was all business as a nurse,  bossing doctors around and holding the students to a high level. One of the women told me she was scared of one thing, thunder.

Later that afternoon Andy and I went to the Levant Cemetery and did a grave rubbing of my grandmother and of "little Joe Hussey". Little Joe's story is in my book.

Notice that her birthday is the same day we were there :)

I feel so loved, blessed, led. To God be the glory. It seems He's just holding my hand, leading me around to see all this fabulous stuff.

More adventures to come tomorrow...